Momparison is what I like to call mom comparison. There are moms you compare yourself too because you think they’re better or that they have it better- “Well that mom does or can do or can have this or that thing that I can’t.” And, there are moms you compare yourself too because you think they’re worse or have it worse, “Well that mom doesn’t or can’t or can’t do this or that thing that I can.” Sound familiar?
Let’s be real, we’ve all done this. I’ve caught myself doing this more times than I’d care to admit on a public platform and probably more times than I could keep track of anyway. It’s easy to do and for a fleeting second it probably brings some sort of resolution to yourself and a situation. But, here’s the truth: Every single one of these “momparisons” is rooted in an identity issue. You’re not happy with yourself and you think someone is doing better so you dwell on that. Or, you’re not happy with yourself and you think someone is doing worse so you try to justify your own perceived short comings.
In either case, “momparison” destroys someone. Either the one doing the comparing or the one being compared to. Somebody, somewhere is being torn down and that’s not ok.
I’ve heard this said many times by many people so no infringement intended; God gave that baby to you, to YOU. Not to the Jone’s down the street or to the Billy Bobs next door. Only you and your family know what’s best for your child. He chose you to be the parent of that sweet baby boy or girl.
I think Lindsey Loahn said it best at the end of Mean Girls really. To paraphrase her point, looking up or down to someone else doesn’t change anything about your own self and your own situation. So, why do we waste our precious time doing it. Heck, we could all use more sleep if nothing else!
In this world comparison is easy to do. I’ve seen social media have a lot to do with this. But, moms can overcome these tendencies in our culture and choose to support one another, while valuing themselves. Be happy for someone when things go right, grieve with someone when things go well, and remember in either case, you are still you and you can be your very best for the family God gave to you.